|
What it was like
8/14/04 at 291 lbs. after losing about 150 pounds. |
What
it's like now
5/29/05 at 235 lbs. after losing over 200 pounds. |
|
Worked up to two half hour
stints on the treadmill most every day, working up a good sweat, and
feeling good afterward. Have to use handrails most of the time because of bad
balance and to get some relief from back pain. Started doing some work with 5
and 8 pound dumbbells to build up arms and shoulders. |
One hour 5 or 6 days per week on
treadmill averaging 70% of max recommended heart rate. Now using heart rate
monitor which tells treadmill what incline to be based on heart rate. No longer
use the handrails. Balance and standing endurance improving constantly. Weight
training routine 3 days per week. Currently bench pressing 110 lbs, 3 sets of
17, but I'm thinking I'm overdoing it.100 crunches most mornings plus leg
lifts, push-ups, and easy yoga. Thinking about getting a bicycle. |
|
Still have a bad
back but it's not a problem most days. Pain levels averaging
2 to 4. |
Back keeps getting stronger.
Fewer "bad back" days. Sciatica attacks down to maybe once every two or three
months and they tend to go away with only a day or two of rest. Standing
endurance much improved. Some days I don't even think about my back. Pain levels
averaging 0 to 4. |
|
Finally able to shop for
clothing in K-mart's large man's section. They stock up to 3 XL. No more mail order. |
Now wearing men's regular
size clothing— XL. Available everywhere men's clothing is sold. |
|
Still wearing mostly sweat
pants or sometimes jeans, but I need to use suspenders to keep them up. I hate
suspenders. They are uncomfortable. |
Usually wear jeans and a
belt. Got rid of the suspenders. Pants stay up fine. |
|
Beginning to feel less
inhibited. Started wearing tank tops around home and in yard on hot days. |
Now wearing tank tops and
cut-offs regularly when it's warm. No longer feel the need to hide behind coats
or baggy long sleeve shirts when out and about. |
|
Pride in recovery
efforts - still fairly self-conscious, but not steeped in shame. |
Starting to feel some pride
in my body. I like that the muscles are now visible on my arms and legs. I like
feeling strong—it's
a good thing. |
|
Thinking about getting rid of
the pony tail and full beard. |
They're gone. I just don't
need them anymore. First time I've had to get regular hair cuts in decades.
Still not use to the routine and not sure I like it, but it feels good to care about how I look—to take
care of myself. |
|
Eating primarily whole
natural foods. Keeps getting easier and easier to eat this way. |
Still eating whole natural
foods. My diet keeps improving as I learn more about food and nutrition and new
tasty ways to fix my food. It feels like my default (natural, automatic) way of
eating now. |
|
Becoming optimistic about
my life—very hopeful. |
I feel certain now that my
actions are adding years to my life—good years. That is, barring some unforeseen
accident or... |
|
Depression and anxiety
problems greatly diminished. |
This is staying about the
same. Losing weight and getting physically healthier only goes so far in curing
chronic psychiatric problems. Still, the stronger and more confident I feel, the
easier it is to deal with any panic attacks or down days and that's a big deal
to me. Still not dealing with my social phobias too well or trying to address
them in any aggressive way. This is probably my next big challenge in recovery. |
|
Working
closely with my VA physician |
Down to seeing her every 6
months as long as no other health issues arise. Last time I saw her, she didn't
recognize me at first because of how much I've changed. |
|
Overall, I'm blown away by
how far I've come in just under two years. I feel like a whole different person.
Giving up dieting and going to whole natural foods was the best thing I've done
for myself since I quit smoking in '95.
I still have, at times, feelings of being very overweight—like
I'm still huge and freakish. I forget and sometimes find myself navigating space like I
was still 450 pounds.
Sometimes I still see the morbidly obese version of me in the mirror. I guess it
will just take more time for my psyche to catch up with my body. |