Key Concepts Index

Refuse to be "Powerless"

Take command of your recovery by nurturing an attitude of personal empowerment.

Recovery from compulsive overeating and Binge Eating Disorder (BED) requires an attitude of personal empowerment. Whether it feels like it or not, we are all responsible for everything we eat. No one can make us overeat or binge. People, places, and things cannot force us to overeat. So-called trigger foods can't actually make us do anything. Anxiety and painful emotions don't have any special powers which can force us to eat. Loneliness and boredom can't open our mouths and make us swallow. On some level, we always make a choice as to how we respond to feelings and situations. Getting in touch with the fact that we are actually choosing to overeat or binge gets us in touch with the fact that we can actually choose other responses. There are other options besides overeating. We can choose healthier more productive ways to cope. We can choose to explore and develop more constructive behaviors.  We can choose to not turn to food.

Like everything else in recovery, this takes practice and persistence. One of the ways to practice not being powerless is to stop labeling ourselves by our illnesses and disorders.

Labels

Defining ourselves as food "addicts", compulsive overeaters, bingers, or as being powerless over food or our disease, only serves to make us feel like we are at the mercy of our eating disorder—victims. If I am an addict, if I am a compulsive overeater, if I am powerless over food or my disease, I give up a lot of personal responsibility. I give up some of my power to the disorder or illness. In essence, I have given my problems power over me.

Redefining our power

If you go to 12 Step meetings, do you introduce yourself by saying that you are a compulsive overeater? Try saying instead that you are "recovering from compulsive overeating". Instead of calling yourself a "food addict" consider saying something like, "I am affected by an eating disorder". At first this may seem like a small point and of little consequence, but it is a key concept of recovery. If you had an emotional disorder, would it be more constructive to say, I am mentally ill, or, I have a mental illness? Think about the difference for a moment and the impact it might have on the person with the emotional disorder. The real difference is a matter of how you identify yourself. Are you a human being who is affected by an eating disorder, or are you simply a walking talking eating disorder. This goes to the very core of our identity and who and what we feel our very essence to be. Names and labels have a lot of psychological power. We empower our own ability to make healthy choices when we choose our words carefully. Over time, our attitude shifts from being at the mercy of BED, or compulsive overeating, to being able to manage and control them in a healthy and constructive way.

A commonly heard phrase at 12 Step meetings is that "we are powerless over food". However, food is not an addictive substance nor is it a psychoactive substance. What we feel powerless over is actually our eating behavior. Own your behavior, don't give your power away to the substance, food. Food is your friend, your body needs food to survive. The "food" isn't in or out of control of anything or anybody. It's OUR relationship to food that needs to change, not the food itself.

One of the most empowering steps of my recovery was realizing just how much control I really did have over what and how I ate. I had to take back my power of choice and assume responsibility for what I put in my mouth. Even when it wasn't a very healthy choice, it was still a choice that I made and I didn't have to feel bad about it. I could either choose to eat corn chips and sour cream or I could choose to eat broccoli and salmon. I did have the personal power to decide because I was not helpless. I am not powerless. I can choose to be in control or I can choose to give up control.

Another, and perhaps more powerful way to look at it is to consider what we choose not to do. For instance, before I first went to the VA hospital for help with my obesity and health, I wasn't doing nothing. I chose not to ask for help; that's the action I decided to take. I may not have thought about it in exactly that way, but I did make a choice not to seek help. I wasn't powerless over my eating disorder or the food I ate. I chose not to seek out the help I knew was probably available to me. I also chose not to eat nutritious foods, not to learn more about proper nutrition, not to journal what I ate or write about what I was feeling. You see, I wasn't powerless; I simply made a series of poor health choices. If I had gone for the corn chips and sour cream instead of the broccoli and salmon, I chose both to eat the corn chips and to not to eat the salmon or some other healthy alternative to the corn chips.

[See more on powerlessness]

• Key Concepts Index
• First Things First – Establishing a stable pattern of regular eating.
• Refuse to be "Powerless" — Realize that you do have choices. Don't give your power away.
• Become Health Centered – Focus on improving health. Weight loss is a byproduct.
• Keep A Journal Of Your Foods And Moods – Gaining awareness is empowering.
• Eat Like A Healthy Person – Eat healthy whole natural foods now.
• Empower Yourself – Use every tool and resource necessary.
• Educate Yourself – Become an expert on nutrition. Forget what the diet gurus say.
• Don't Go Hungry – Eat your way to optimum health. Hunger only leads to binges.
• Act As If – Act yourself into a new way of thinking. Action precedes motivation.
• Dump Perfectionism – Progress is good enough. We learn from our mistakes.
• Easy Does It – Practice moderation and have realistic goals. Practice self-compassion.
• One Day At A Time – Focus on today and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

Dave's web site is for informational purposes only and is not meant to serve as medical advice or to replace consultation with a professional dietician, nutritionist, physician, or mental health professional. None of the information presented on this web site is intended to diagnose, prescribe, or to administer to any medical ailments or conditions.