Kitchen Faucets

Written December 2003

Hi All,

I have a kitchen faucet that has been leaky and cranky for years. One of its knobs is stripped where it fits on the spline of the valve stem and so I can turn it and turn it and nothing happens. I have to tilt the handle and press down to the side to make it grab the valve stem enough to work. Also the set-screw that holds it on is totally frozen and the head rounded out, so I cannot remove or replace the handle and I'm forever having to fight it to get it to turn off or on the cold water. I knew back in '95 that it was beyond repair and really needed to be replaced. The thing is ancient and worn out in just about every way a kitchen faucet can be worn out. I have long planned to put in a whole new kitchen counter and sink so I gave myself permission to just leave the faucet alone till I got around to doing the remodeling. Of course, for one reason or another I never did get around to the remodeling.

Yesterday, after getting home from an appointment, I found that the faucet had sprung a leak through its valve stem and had been spraying a fine mist all over the wall and down the floor. I was forced to go buy a new faucet assembly and install it. Which I begrudgingly did. I couldn't afford it. I was too tired to do it, and I didn't want to because I plan to remodel the kitchen counter and wanted to do the whole job at once the right way, but I had to fix it or I'd have no water. It took me all afternoon and into the evening to complete the job.

This morning, as I made my coffee, I was stunned to experience the simple pleasure of a working single lever action faucet! A quick and painless flick up and whoosh! — fresh cold water as easy as you please. This is really a big deal. I have long had problems with my hands that make it hard or painful at times to grip things. Fighting that cold water knob was a real struggle and constant frustration.

Why or when I made the decision to put myself through years of torture with that old faucet is beyond me. When and if I ever remodeled the kitchen, I could have simply removed the one I bought to replace the old one and used it on the new sink... No big deal. There were many times during the last 8 or 9 years that I could have better afforded the new faucet and was easily up to the task physically. My logic for not replacing it sooner wasn't logical at all. It made no sense whatsoever. Yet I tenaciously held onto that line of thinking like it was one of the most important things in my life and never questioned myself about it.

What keeps coming up in my life, the lesson I never seem to learn, is how I put off things till some point in the future instead of doing them as they come up which would then make my present more bearable or enjoyable. This morning when I was making my coffee I realized just how much impact that stupid old faucet had on my life. I have to use that sink and faucet for all my water needs as it's the only sink in my tiny place. That means hand washing, dishes, brushing my teeth, drinking water, coffee — I use it countless times per day. Each time an exasperating experience that added stress and frustration into my life.

Why I do this to myself — I dunno. But it's a huge loss. Every time I do, I give up a part of my life I can't ever get back.

Love, Dave

Chairs, Misery, and Old Attachments

Written October 2006

Hi All,

It never ceases to amaze me how I live with things that are problematic when there are easy readily available alternatives and solutions. I live as if I have no choices. I suffer, I endure, I feel miserable, and I do nothing. Not sure why, but this is a pattern in my life and I can't seem to see it in each new situation till I eventually do stumble upon the fact that I can change things... that change is the easier softer way.

I have this nice office chair at my computer desk. It's sort of a mid to lower-end executive type desk chair, not a secretarial type chair. You know, it has a full back, is wide, with arm rests, nice cloth covering. I bought it at Costco years ago because I wanted something comfortable, and strong (I was still severely obese then). For the last several months--probably closer to a year now, I've had to use strategically placed pillows on that chair just so I could sit for a little while at my computer. It still was terribly uncomfortable because of my tailbone problems. A lot of the time, I'll sit down and it hurts, so I get right back up without turning my computer on. Sometimes I'm good for 10 or 20 minutes. But that's barely enough time for me to compose emails or web pages--do my writing--because I write and re-write things to get what is in my mind, out. Not sure if it's a compulsive thing, a learning disorder thing, or both, but it can take me hours to write a single page.

OK, here's the other thing about my old computer chair. Sitting on it with my strategically placed pillows, allows me to sit for awhile, but it puts exactly the wrong "do" on my spine, for my back problems. I put a pillow under my thighs so my rear end drops into a sort of void that takes pressure off my tailbone. The problem is that this makes my lower back curve out instead of in, which puts the pressure all wrong on my discs etc. So if it's not my butt that stops me from sitting and working at my computer, it is my back. My back is really acting up the last couple of days. Enough that I almost went to the hospital emergency yesterday (is better this morning).

Right outside my back door sits four nice molded plastic and steel folding chairs. I got them last year at Costco. I have four of them and use them for deck chairs. They were inexpensive and are amazingly comfortable for folding chairs. This morning I finally figured out that I could try one of them in here at my computer. It occurred to me that I could try a different chair and those were close. WOW!!!! No pillows. The way they are built and the fact that they aren't padded, keeps the pressure off my tailbone and the correct curve in my spine. I've been sitting here for nearly an hour.

OK, maybe I'm rambling about small peanuts, but I could have changed my chair out a long time ago. I never once thought of it till now and I'm really excited. It feels like a big weight lifted. I had some sort of attachment to that old office chair that I wasn't ready to let go of. Now, I guess I'll take it to the Goodwill. I don't need it. And heck, maybe I can go try out some other chairs. There may be something even better than folding chairs.

Another nice: that office chair was pretty big. In my tiny room, it used up precious space. Its arm rests made it unable to slide under the computer table so it stuck out in the middle of everything all the time. I was always stubbing my toes on it or moving it about to get around. The folding chair slides right under the table. I never used those arm rests anyway. Now I can sit close to the table which makes correct posture (important for bad backs) easy.

Sorry to go on so long but I really am stoked about all this. I need to start looking at everything in my life to see what I "can change", and what other attachments I have that might not be so healthy and good.

Love, Dave