Is compulsive overeating a disease like alcoholism?
Is there any help for me?

> ...Is this a hopeless quest for me to even think
> I can become a normal eater again?? I just don't know anymore and I
> hate feeling guilty after I eat. Can anyone help me please?

Yes, there is hope for you. I remember that you said you were having a hard time seeing your overeating as a disease like alcoholism/drug addiction. I had the same problem having been clean and sober in AA for many years.

There is a heap of stigma attached to being overweight and overeating in our society. We grow up being bombarded with it. The various forms of media, advertising, and entertainment industries only perpetuate and support stereotypes and stigmatization, as does the "diet industry". Almost none of that ilk is true, yet those images and messages are ingrained deep in our brains. To try to "recover" based on all that misinformation is bound to fail. One of the worse wrong messages revolves around the idea that obesity and compulsive overeating are moral weaknesses and that if we just used our will power a little more, we could easily shed our extra weight and look model perfect. The diet industry tells us that all we have to do is take a pill, read a book, or eat a certain combination of foods and we can lose 20 pounds in 20 days. The big problem is that we believe this stuff—we want to believe this stuff on some level. These images and ideas are almost impossible to let go of because we grew up being told they were the truth.

However, just like society's ideas about alcoholism began to change a few short decades ago, concepts about overeating and obesity are beginning to change. It takes society decades to make small changes, but as individuals, we can educate ourselves and support each other with new concepts and ideas, and change can happen rather quickly. Are you aware that "Binge Eating Disorder" is now a medically diagnosable illness with a specific set of clinical symptoms written up in the DSM IV along side of anorexia and bulimia? Many compulsive overeaters go through phases that include bouts with anorexia and bulimia. Researchers now suggest that Binge Eating Disorder is but part of a range or spectrum of closely related eating disorders. You may also consider the rapid rise in accepted medical treatments available to treat obesity including a range from simple medications that restrict absorption of fats to drastic risky measures such as gastric bypass surgery. So it's not only the psychological community, but the regular medical community that considers compulsive overeating and obesity to be serious medical conditions.

Is Binge Eating Disorder and compulsive overeating an addictive illness? Perhaps. It is at least, an addictive-like disorder. Some common characteristics of addiction are:

• Loss of control: The user cannot predict what will happen when he uses the substance. One day he may be able to stop after one drink; the next day he may not be able to stop until he passes out or the bars close. Taking the drug more often or in larger amounts than intended.
• Compulsive preoccupation: The addict spends a great deal of time thinking about the substance. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance, use the substance, or recover from its effects.
• Attempts to hide or conceal use or amount used. Lying, hoarding, hiding substances, secret stashes or hidden supply.
• Continued use despite negative consequences: The person has lost voluntary control of the use of that substance, i.e. the power of choice. The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance.
• Unsuccessful attempts to quit; persistent desire to quit or change behavior. Tries various means to modify and 'control' substance use.
• Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use.

My compulsive overeating had exactly these characteristics. Binge eating for me is also definitely "mood altering". I can describe this as a sugar high, as a way to distract me from uncomfortable feelings, or a way to simply not feel anything. I would use food both to nurture myself and to validate my own low self-esteem. Addiction has also been described as a pathological relationship to a substance, person, behavior or process. My relationship to food was all screwed up and the resulting effects on the quality of my life was devastating.

In AA I learned that alcoholism is a progressive and fatal disease that is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Is compulsive eating any different? I don't think so. The only two real differences I can see are that eating is entirely legal so generally doesn't directly lead to legal problems and possible incarceration. And, we can never completely abstain from using food like an alcoholic or addict can with their booze and drugs. Food is not technically an addictive substance, or medically classified as an addiction, but the similarities with  the addictive diseases is why Overeaters Anonymous works for many people. It IS basically a mirror of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous except the population it serves has issues with food not booze.

I've heard from many recovering alcoholics that along with their new life in sobriety, found that food and weight became a growing problem. Coming to terms with the idea that eating can become a compulsive disorder in which we abuse a substance, after doing all the hard work it takes to get and stay clean and sober, is difficult. We aren't alone. Not everyone who drinks or uses drugs will become an alcoholic or addict—even if they like to party hardy. Not everyone who eats develops an eating disorder. Why some come to abuse alcohol or food is very complex. I think I was just wired that way from birth.

With my alcoholism and drug addictions, I can never use those substances like a "normal" person again. I can't risk taking even the first small drink or jolt if I am to live. I must work at abstaining from any use for the rest of my life. AA gave me the tools, knowledge, personal growth, and life experiences to do that. With food I think it is a little harder in some ways. It is not exactly an all or nothing proposition. With alcoholism, one drink for me is too many and a dozen is never enough. With food I know that one cookie won't instantly send me back to my top weight or destroy my serenity. The health, life, and relationship consequences don't change dramatically in a few days like they would if I started drinking and using again. But, it is 100% as destructive, life-threatening, and dangerous. It may be even more insidious.

I suggest beginning by thinking of recovery from compulsive eating as a loving, nurturing, and growthful process rather than one of restrictions, harsh rules, and diets. Diets are part of the problem, not part of the solution. Think proper nutrition and healthy foods—a plan of eating that you could stick to for a life time. Statistically, diets have a dismal success rate over the long haul and only go to set our bodies up for failure. When we restrict calories below a healthy amount, our metabolism slows down. Our body thinks that we are starving so it starts trying to conserve energy and store fat tissue. At the same time our brains instinctually force us to seek food to survive with compulsive thoughts. It's an ancient self-preservation drive that is normal and natural. When our metabolism is slowed this way we are set up to gain weight easier because we are then set up to conserve fat for our future needs. This sets us up for failure and too often leads to a cycle of yo-yo dieting which most of us are all too familiar with—shedding a few pounds and then gaining them all back plus a few until eventually we are obese and our inner systems of satiation and hunger control are all out of whack.

Perhaps one of the hardest things for most of us is getting out of the habit of "All or Nothing" thinking. We can make mistakes with our eating plan and not give up for the whole day. We don't need to start again tomorrow. The concept is "Progress not perfection". Over time healthy eating will become more natural and as we work on our emotional and spiritual growth, our physical health will improve. Our cravings for junk food and overeating will fade. It will never happen tomorrow. It happens imperfectly right now, day by day, with lots of bends and bumps in the road. But it does and can happen.

Love, Dave