Worth Recovering

Hi All,

Being affected by a compulsive eating disorder does not and never did make me a bad person. It did not make me an unmoral person, an unspiritual person, or an un-virtuous person--it made me a person with an illness and no more. One of the most empowering steps in my recovery was waking up to the fact that even at the deepest darkest stages of my disease, I was a good man who had a lot of very positive qualities. I was not morally less-than or substandard. I was not evil, bad, or defective. When I finally understood and accepted the idea that being morbidly obese was just a symptom of an eating disorder, and not a sin or moral failing, I could begin to move from being angry at myself, to nurturing my own spirit and thus, my recovery. I could move from self-pity to something very constructive and empowering--acceptance and self-compassion. Those were the assets for recovery that I had to get in touch with before much of anything else could work for me. I had to begin to believe that I was worth recovering.

The fact is that I am not my fat. I may carry extra fat tissue on my body, but it is not who I am. I 'have' an eating disorder, but it is not who I am.
I am in fact, Dave, a child of a loving higher power. I am not a compulsive overeater, I am a human being who eats compulsively, i.e. has binge eating disorder.

Love, Dave July 20, 2005